I am currently trying to write my 5 - 10 page paper for my business communication class and it is frustrating me beyond belief. Our topic had to be something dealing with our job or our major so I picked something with my job not knowing at the time what exactly this paper would require. Apparently we're supposed to have 10 resources for this paper and of course use them all. How am I supposed to find ten sources about something dealing with my job. I guess I'll just be using 'interviews' for my sources since she said that was ok.
Ugh, I just really hate school. I have always hated school, I think my mom could verify that! This semester especially has been really difficult. Even though I always hated school, I felt like I was pretty smart. Not anymore. It seems like the more I go to school the more dumb I feel. I don't do as well in school as I always used to. Part of that is probably because I am trying to go to school full time on top of working full time and it's stressfull and hard and I hate it. Part of it too is that I don't put in the time that I should to studying because I don't really enjoy what I'm learning in my classes. I've thought that maybe I'm going into the wrong major, but then I think about what I would want to do and nothing sounds very interesting to go to school for. I think that no matter what my major I will still hate taking classes for it.
I've had people ask me what I want to do and the first thing that comes to mind is that I want to be a mom. That is my future goal is to be a mother. I don't see myself being this huge successful career woman because that is never what I've wanted. I've wanted to be a mom and they don't have a degree for that!
I am just so torn. Part of me just wants to quit school because I dislike it so much and it makes me so unhappy, but part of me wants to finish and get my degree because I do want a degree that I can use if I need to and to show my kids someday that I did it even though I didn't enjoy it! :) Sometimes I just don't know if it's worth it though. I'm not enjoying my classes and I don't feel like I'm really learning anything from them. Most of them don't really even have that much to do with my major, but they're required. Most of the time I leave my classes feeling like such an idiot, which is mostly my own doing i'm sure because I don't study the way I should. Last week during spring break, Shawn got a glimpse of how much happier I am when I don't have school to worry about! It's amazing how stressed I am when I have school stuff to worry about. I don't think I handle stress very well.
Ugh, I just am so torn and have been this whole semester. I keep telling myself that this is just an especially hard semester and it won't be so bad next semester. I hope that's true, but I definately have my doubts since all my classes I have left are upper level classes.
Well, I'm sure no one will have made it to this point in my post, but if anyone does, I'm sorry. I just really needed to write out my frustrations. My next post will be more uplifting!
3 comments:
Hang in there, Stace. You only have a year left, right? Plus I thought my upper division classes were easier because they pertained more to my major. You could switch to a human development major, that is sort of along the lines of motherhood! Working full time and going to school full time kind of makes it so you can't reach your full potential as a student because you just don't have the time, but I think you are so smart so just hang in there.
I feel for you! I am barely surviving this semester and I am not working full time and doing school full time. You are so smart, and hard working. Maybe taking the summer off and having some time to do your own thing will help you decided what to do. I know that you will make the right decision for you. Good Luck! I love you!
I know my opinion doesn't matter, but I'm going to put in my two cents. I went to school full time and worked full time and it was horrible. I totally feel your pain. I found I could not do both at the same time. I stopped school for a bit and just worked. Then I got to the point where we had saved up enough and I stopped working and focused on school and finished. That was the only way that I could do both. I had to find a balance. I think that whatever you choose, do what is best for you. Don't let anyone or anything sway your choice.
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